ninehertz

1. • Ollie
   • Due to my somewhat portly frame and the fact that the doctor told me last week my blood pressure is slightly high and I should lose some weight my wife has put me on the ceral diet where you have cereal for breakfast and lunch and a healthy meal in the evening.
     
     I'm now on day 2 and I am so fucking bored of eating cereal already!!!!
   • [12:01 on 13/05/08]
2. • Mazz
   • I love Branflakes and currants. I have that every morning. Keeps the shit flowing baby.
     
   • [12:03 on 13/05/08]
3. • bad admiral
   • porridge is the way, homeslice.
     
     stick a whole mess of fruit and some honey in there.
     
     then stick two fingers up at your diet.
     
     
   • [12:09 on 13/05/08]
4. • Ollie
   • I'd kill for a burger and chips right now!!!
   • [12:20 on 13/05/08]
5. • Rob Smith
   • this thread made me giggle My dad has these types of gripes when mum puts him on a diet. When mum's on a diet, everybody suffers.
   • [16:57 on 13/05/08]
6. • Rob Himself
   • I had falafels, tomatos and peppers for dinner.
     
     I'm hungry.
   • [20:51 on 13/05/08]
7. • Carey
   • for such a skinny bastard, you're obsessed with food.
   • [20:53 on 13/05/08]
8. • noone
   • I'm also a fat bastard but when I actually had to get out of bed to go to work I used to make Bircher Muesli the night before. It's proper easy and fills you for hours and costs next to nothing or actually nothing if you spend a lot of time in bins.
     
     Put some porridge oats in a bowl and pour over enough apple juice to cover it and stir in a handful of your favourite dried fruit.
     Leave it overnight.
     The porridge makes itself and the fruit swells
     In the morning , stagger out of bed stir some chopped apple or banana into it and some of your favourite yoghurt.
     Eat.
     Burp.
     Run for bus.
     It'll fill you for ages.
   • [22:05 on 13/05/08]
9. • Eggy
   • bad admiral says:

     
     porridge is the way, homeslice.
     
     
     
     Porridge is what transformed Caleb Folan from a useless striker who couldn't hit a barndoor with a banjo to a premiership (then championship) lean mean goalscoring machine. It was all down to eating porridge.
     
     I don't eat enough cereal, i tend to have morrisons fake weetabix or corn flakes, with raisins on if i remember. We've got some cereal from marks and sparks currently that has bits of apple in that's quite nice.
   • [08:26 on 14/05/08]
10. • Ollie
    • I'm finding the first bowl of the day isn't so bad as I usually have cereal anyway, it's the bowl for lunch that tips me over the edge!!!!
      
      And it's only day 3 of a 2 week diet...this had better work!!!!
    • [08:55 on 14/05/08]
11. • bad admiral
    • 3 inches off hips, bust and thighs if the ads are to be believed.
      
      incidently mr ollie...take a trip to holland and barrett and get some "green tea extract" capsules.
      
      i lost a stone and a half in about 2 weeks and now i look like michaelangelo's david.
    • [09:02 on 14/05/08]
12. • Eggy
    • I bought some weight loss pills a couple of years back, just to attempt to get rid of the belly, they had orange peel somat or other in, i took one without having very much to eat and i went really hot so i thought i better not take any more again just incase.
    • [09:09 on 14/05/08]
13. • Ollie
    • bad admiral says:

      
      3 inches off hips, bust and thighs if the ads are to be believed.
      
      incidently mr ollie...take a trip to holland and barrett and get some "green tea extract" capsules.
      
      i lost a stone and a half in about 2 weeks and now i look like michaelangelo's david.
      
      
      
      I could do with losing 2 inches off my waist to get into these jeans my wife bought me off the internet so I don't have to send them back!!
      
      I could do with a debilitating bout of gastric flu or something so I don't eat for 2 weeks...that should shift some of the lard!!!!
    • [09:24 on 14/05/08]
14. • bad admiral
    • green tea is awesome.
      
      have a capsule at brekkie. helps the body metabolise fat. replace your weak tea and 2 sugars with a green or white tea. eat a whole mess of exotic fruits instead of a normal snack. pomegranites are ace as they are full of good shit. passion fruits look like dirty girls bits so are fun to eat.
      
      have a nice sarnie for lunch...you'll need some fucking meat and cheese, and a bunch of salad. go home and eat a small dinner what is low on trad carbs.
      
      i will remotely lifestyle guru any of you for free.
    • [09:28 on 14/05/08]
15. • grinderno1
    • Eggy says:

      
      who couldn't hit a barndoor with a banjo
      
      
      that's one of the best sentences i've seen in ages!
    • [09:45 on 14/05/08]
16. • Ollie
    • bad admiral says:

      
      green tea is awesome.
      
      have a capsule at brekkie. helps the body metabolise fat. replace your weak tea and 2 sugars with a green or white tea. eat a whole mess of exotic fruits instead of a normal snack. pomegranites are ace as they are full of good shit. passion fruits look like dirty girls bits so are fun to eat.
      
      have a nice sarnie for lunch...you'll need some fucking meat and cheese, and a bunch of salad. go home and eat a small dinner what is low on trad carbs.
      
      i will remotely lifestyle guru any of you for free.
      
      
      
      That actually sounds pretty damn good. I've cut right down on tea and cut back to one sugar, drinking loads more water...which is making me piss like a race horse, bringing fruit to work now and avoiding the cakes and cookies whenever someone has a birthday...which seems to be every day and having smaller portions of healthy food for my tea...home made turkey burgers and salad last night and chicken and vegetable chinese kebabs with spicey noodles tonight.
      
      Now I need to get the motivation to get the exercise bike out!!!
    • [10:08 on 14/05/08]
17. • Eggy
    • I tend to opt for eat smart ready meals at work which probably aren't exactly healthy but at least there's less fat etc in them. I also have a tin of fruit for my break instead of crisps, cakes or whatever, so i'm trying to an extent but not immensely. I also drink either juice or milk at work, i did have lemonade last night though as i fancied it. Them green tea capsules do sound pretty good though.
    • [10:22 on 14/05/08]
18. • bad admiral
    • Ollie says:

      
      

      bad admiral says:

      
      green tea is awesome.
      
      have a capsule at brekkie. helps the body metabolise fat. replace your weak tea and 2 sugars with a green or white tea. eat a whole mess of exotic fruits instead of a normal snack. pomegranites are ace as they are full of good shit. passion fruits look like dirty girls bits so are fun to eat.
      
      have a nice sarnie for lunch...you'll need some fucking meat and cheese, and a bunch of salad. go home and eat a small dinner what is low on trad carbs.
      
      i will remotely lifestyle guru any of you for free.
      

      
      
      That actually sounds pretty damn good. I've cut right down on tea and cut back to one sugar, drinking loads more water...which is making me piss like a race horse, bringing fruit to work now and avoiding the cakes and cookies whenever someone has a birthday...which seems to be every day and having smaller portions of healthy food for my tea...home made turkey burgers and salad last night and chicken and vegetable chinese kebabs with spicey noodles tonight.
      
      Now I need to get the motivation to get the exercise bike out!!!
      
      
      
      i will now motivate you.
      
      FEEEEEL THE BURNNNNNN OLLLLIIIEEEEE!!! G'WARRRRRNN!!! YOU'RE A WINNER! YOU'RE STRONG, NOT WEAK!!!! CALL THAT A SIT-UP?????!!! YOU CHEEKY FUCKER!!!! WINNNN! WIN! WIN! YOU WANT THIS STEAK???!!! YOU WANT THIS STEAK???!!! 6 MORE MILES AND YOU CAN HAVE THIS STEAK!
      
      this is how i spoke to myself when i was a jolly chunky cunt. i am now a slimmer, jolly cunt.
      
      i hope you feel motivated now.
    • [10:42 on 14/05/08]
19. • Ollie
    • bad admiral says:

      
      

      Ollie says:

      
      

      bad admiral says:

      
      green tea is awesome.
      
      have a capsule at brekkie. helps the body metabolise fat. replace your weak tea and 2 sugars with a green or white tea. eat a whole mess of exotic fruits instead of a normal snack. pomegranites are ace as they are full of good shit. passion fruits look like dirty girls bits so are fun to eat.
      
      have a nice sarnie for lunch...you'll need some fucking meat and cheese, and a bunch of salad. go home and eat a small dinner what is low on trad carbs.
      
      i will remotely lifestyle guru any of you for free.
      

      
      
      That actually sounds pretty damn good. I've cut right down on tea and cut back to one sugar, drinking loads more water...which is making me piss like a race horse, bringing fruit to work now and avoiding the cakes and cookies whenever someone has a birthday...which seems to be every day and having smaller portions of healthy food for my tea...home made turkey burgers and salad last night and chicken and vegetable chinese kebabs with spicey noodles tonight.
      
      Now I need to get the motivation to get the exercise bike out!!!
      

      
      
      i will now motivate you.
      
      FEEEEEL THE BURNNNNNN OLLLLIIIEEEEE!!! G'WARRRRRNN!!! YOU'RE A WINNER! YOU'RE STRONG, NOT WEAK!!!! CALL THAT A SIT-UP?????!!! YOU CHEEKY FUCKER!!!! WINNNN! WIN! WIN! YOU WANT THIS STEAK???!!! YOU WANT THIS STEAK???!!! 6 MORE MILES AND YOU CAN HAVE THIS STEAK!
      
      this is how i spoke to myself when i was a jolly chunky cunt. i am now a slimmer, jolly cunt.
      
      i hope you feel motivated now.
      
      
      
      I may just listen to Manowar while I'm on the exercise bike and imagine that one day I will look buff in a rabbit skin loin cloth whilst holding a sword aloft covered in baby oil...that will be my motivation!!!
    • [11:25 on 14/05/08]
20. • bad admiral
    • Ollie says:

      
      

      bad admiral says:

      
      

      Ollie says:

      
      

      bad admiral says:

      
      green tea is awesome.
      
      have a capsule at brekkie. helps the body metabolise fat. replace your weak tea and 2 sugars with a green or white tea. eat a whole mess of exotic fruits instead of a normal snack. pomegranites are ace as they are full of good shit. passion fruits look like dirty girls bits so are fun to eat.
      
      have a nice sarnie for lunch...you'll need some fucking meat and cheese, and a bunch of salad. go home and eat a small dinner what is low on trad carbs.
      
      i will remotely lifestyle guru any of you for free.
      

      
      
      That actually sounds pretty damn good. I've cut right down on tea and cut back to one sugar, drinking loads more water...which is making me piss like a race horse, bringing fruit to work now and avoiding the cakes and cookies whenever someone has a birthday...which seems to be every day and having smaller portions of healthy food for my tea...home made turkey burgers and salad last night and chicken and vegetable chinese kebabs with spicey noodles tonight.
      
      Now I need to get the motivation to get the exercise bike out!!!
      

      
      
      i will now motivate you.
      
      FEEEEEL THE BURNNNNNN OLLLLIIIEEEEE!!! G'WARRRRRNN!!! YOU'RE A WINNER! YOU'RE STRONG, NOT WEAK!!!! CALL THAT A SIT-UP?????!!! YOU CHEEKY FUCKER!!!! WINNNN! WIN! WIN! YOU WANT THIS STEAK???!!! YOU WANT THIS STEAK???!!! 6 MORE MILES AND YOU CAN HAVE THIS STEAK!
      
      this is how i spoke to myself when i was a jolly chunky cunt. i am now a slimmer, jolly cunt.
      
      i hope you feel motivated now.
      

      
      
      I may just listen to Manowar while I'm on the exercise bike and imagine that one day I will look buff in a rabbit skin loin cloth whilst holding a sword aloft covered in baby oil...that will be my motivation!!!
      
      
      
      idea for book: the manowar diet
      
      food: the flesh of your enemies
      excercise: battle
      motivation: manowar
    • [11:31 on 14/05/08]

Forums - General Chat - I'm sick of cereal!!!