ninehertz

1. • FDFC
   • Regardless of him actually being a human being and this being difficult for his family to see, he's come out with some absolute fucking gems this week.
     
     “I got magic and I got poetry in my fingertips, most of the time, and this includes naps. I’m an F-18, bro, and I will destroy you in the air and I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.”
     
     "Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words -- imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists"
     
     FIRE. BREATHING. FISTS.
     
     I hear he's off on holiday with his ex-wife, his girlfriend, and a pornstar this week.
     
     Most entertaining meltdown of all time.
   • [11:17 on 26/02/11]
2. • Mazz
   • I liked the photos that came out a few months ago. All out dinner then MELTDOWN.
     
     "Charlie Sheen found naked with cocaine on face in restaurant bathroom before bizarre hotel meltdown"
   • [15:37 on 26/02/11]
3. • slack mammoth
   • Two And A Half Men has apparently been canned after he trash talked the producers in an interview. He called them "Alcoholics Anonymous Nazis".
     
     $1.25 million a show. Not bad going.
   • [17:11 on 26/02/11]
4. • Mazz
   • slack mammoth says:

     
     
     $1.25 million a show. Not bad going.
     
     
     Maaaaaan. I would go bat shit crazy if I was on that kind of money.
     
     Anyway...I found this..
     
     From the Bahamas, Sheen called a US radio show to insist he had kicked his drug and alcohol addictions, roaring: "I don't have time for these clowns and their judgment and stupidity.
     
     "They lie down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children, and then they look at me and say, 'I can't process it'.
     
     "Well, stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show.
     
     "I'm gonna stay here with these two smokin' hotties and fly privately around the world. You know it might be lonely up here but I sure like the view."
     
     ..It's not going to end well is it?
   • [17:25 on 26/02/11]
5. • FDFC
   • Mazz says:

     ..It's not going to end well is it?
     
     All we'll be left with is Emilio Estevez.
     
     It'll be like River Phoenix all over again.
   • [17:31 on 26/02/11]
6. • Grym
   • Loving Charlie's meltdown. It's ghoulish, but I don't care when he comes out with gold such as:
     
     In an open letter to Chuck Lorre (Two And A Half Men creator/producer) on the cancellation of TAAHM for the rest of the season: "I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words -- imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists."
     
     On his own magical powers: "I'm sorry, man, but I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time--and this includes naps --I'm an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground."
     
     On Major League 3: "Whatever ... If they want me in it, it's a smash. If they don't, it's a turd that opens on a tugboat."
     
     More mixed metaphors for his immense strength and power: "There's a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins."
     
     On how he's a High Priest Vatican Assassin Warlock: "Guys, it's right there in the thing, duh! We work for the Pope, we murder people. We're Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be? What they're not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See where that goes."
     
     His term for people he likes: "Gnarly gnarlingtons."
     
     I'm sorry, what? "If you love with violence and you hate with violence, there's nothing that can be questioned. People say, 'Oh, you'd better work through your resentments.' Yeah, no. I'm gonna hang on to them, and they're gonna fuel my attack. And they're going to fuel the battle cry of my deadly and dangerous and secret and silent soldiers. Because they're all around you. Sorry, you thought you were just messing with one dude. Winning."
     
     On what he's actually addicted to: "The only thing I'm addicted to right now is winning."
     
     On Alcoholics Anonymous versus his magical brian: "This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math ... another one of their mottoes is 'Don't be special, be one of us.' Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you! I have a disease? Bulls**t! I cured it with my brain, with my mind. I cured it, I'm done."
     
     
     
     Vatican Assassin Warlock? Fire breathing fists? Dangerous and secret silent soldiers?
     
     Awesome.
   • [13:37 on 27/02/11]
7. • Mazz
   • Ha Ha
   • [14:52 on 27/02/11]
8. • pull-my-plonker
   • Great thread, good work Leigh!
   • [17:26 on 27/02/11]
9. • Mazz
   • I read this on another forum.
     
     "Last week Sheen dropped in on a UCLA baseball practice and told the players "don't smoke crack, drink chocolate milk...that's all I got" and walked away. He just walked up to them, said that, then left."
     
   • [10:51 on 28/02/11]
10. • FDFC
    • Brilliant.
    • [12:01 on 28/02/11]
11. • bad admiral
    • yeah, so? i'm failing to see how this is anything out of the ordinary.
    • [13:04 on 28/02/11]
12. • FDFC
    • New tattoo...
      
      
    • [13:08 on 28/02/11]
13. • FDFC
    • With porn star Bree Olsen...
      
      
    • [13:12 on 28/02/11]
14. • Hopkins
    • dude's off the chain
    • [20:20 on 28/02/11]
15. • FDFC
    • Christ all fucking mighty.
      
      www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=f7f7ad32-332e-4...
      
      Interviewer: What do you want your kids to get from reading about your behaviour in the future?
      Charlie Sheen: I want them to go "Dad, fill in the blanks. This shit's gnarly. This is epic."
      [Edited by FDFC at 02:04 on 01/03/11]
    • [02:01 on 01/03/11]
16. • FDFC
    • 
      
      I'm fully aware that it's 2.20am and I'm looking for as much Sheenfodder as possible when I should be asleep.
      [Edited by FDFC at 02:22 on 01/03/11]
    • [02:19 on 01/03/11]
17. • Ben
    • Why's he speaking through Duncan Bannatyne?
    • [09:03 on 01/03/11]
18. • Mazz
    • Quiz
      
      www.guardian.co.uk/world/quiz/2011/mar/01/muammar-gaddafi-cha...
    • [11:54 on 01/03/11]
19. • mamba
    • Mazz says:

      Quiz
      
      www.guardian.co.uk/world/quiz/2011/mar/01/muammar-gaddafi-cha...
      
      That's brilliant.
    • [12:16 on 01/03/11]
20. • basstard
    • mamba says:

      Mazz says:

      Quiz
      
      www.guardian.co.uk/world/quiz/2011/mar/01/muammar-gaddafi-cha...

      
      That's brilliant.
      
      
      Excellent stuff. In years to come there will be golden statues of Charlie Sheen in all major centres of civilisation.
    • [12:25 on 01/03/11]

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