The Long Guns Zouch!

Mon 13th June 2005


I once applied for the role as a bass player in this band. They'd had an ad in a local music magazine for a while, so, unsure if the post was still open, I texted one of them to ask if they were still looking for someone. Rather than say yes or no or even acknowledge it was the right number, the reply I got was "Who is this?" The more I think about it, the more impolite and mentally deficient this was for reasons I can't be bothered to go into here. Suffice to say I didn't rush to see them play live, and until now this clueless exchange was the only contact I'd had with the band or their music, and I was looking forward to ripping the band to shreds. More so when my hi-fi wouldn't play the CD-R they sent and I had to remove my 'The Big Lebowski,' DVD from my computer to listen to it. Sacrilege.

Sadly, I can't lay into them just yet, as it's actually quite good. Nothing groundbreaking sure, but the tunes are there. The boys rarely stray from straight-ahead beats or quickly strummed power-chords for the most part, although there's a couple of more interesting moments such as the single note arpeggios during the break in 'Orange County,' and the solo section of 'You.' The whole thing is, I'm guessing, a quick and to the point way of pimping themselves to labels, as the 5 tracks clock in at just under 12 minutes and there's little chance of getting bored, unless you're a ritalin deprived toddler stuffed to the pants with Sunny-D and amphetamines. In which case, you're probably alternately watching monosyllabic drivel one minute and running full force into tables the next, and aren't reading this.

Recorded at 2fly studios in Sheffield, the production values are spot-on throughout, and knowing the studio owner the whole thing probably took less than a day. The guitars are nice and fuzzy and the bass tone is thick and raspy without becoming grating. The vocals are delivered in a suitably lazy manner, and tend to veer between snarling British punk and an eerie likeness to Che Arthur from obscure American acid-rock merchants Atombombpocketknife. However, unless they've got some tunes with a lot more variety under their belts, I can't see most people lasting a whole album of this. There's simply not enough variation on offer here, the songs all seeming to be in well-worn guitar-friendly keys, and all at similar tempo's. Only CD closer 'You,' really stands out, and is a fine example of building a song from nothing but a killer chord progression and vocal melody. Only time will tell whether they can pull off anything longer than this. Until then, they'll send you a copy of this endearingly home-made CD if you ask nicely by contacting them at their site, below. No hard feelings eh lads?


Log in or sign up to post.