ninehertz.co.uk

Where: The Gaff, Holloway Road, London.

When: 10th-11th April 2010.

What: Snack-A-Jack Dickinson assembles a snarling, beefy, sweaty, mish-mash-up of live stoner/prog/sludge/doom/psych/rock n' roll for all of London Town to enjoy, along with fine ales, beautifully immature banter and glorious sunshine!

Who:

Pull My Plonker

Jack Attack

Wicked Westicle

Trippy Pierre

Richard The King

James MORRELL Morrell

Bad Admiral

Slack Mammoth

Donald and Jayne-ald

Oliver Grifter

AnTonyo Garcia

Marek Wizard

Jimmy Parker

Sean of Silence

…and about 20 bands

…and about 150 others.

Bands seen:

SATURDAY

Bodokwe - Warm up the early-nerds very nicely with their instrumental Tool-esque sweep on jazz-funk and prog rock with added chunky grooves.

Stubb - The Mark II line-up delivers a fine lesson in well-written rock and roll with hazy, haunting vocals.

Suns of Thunder - The Brighton Boys are here to have fun, and extending the stage into the sweat-pit, that is what they do, whilst bringing their fast-paced Hammond-organ-drenched boogie-a-thons to North London with class.

Domes of Silence - Well drilled, and straight-up riffage, suitably complimented by assured drumming and Sean's gritty, focused vox.

Alunah - Despite a slightly disjointed set, these Brummies sure do have a great bunch of Sabbath-esque songs, with plenty of rumbling low-end and mesmeric high-end female sing-song.

End Of Level Boss - Playing largely experimental new numbers, EOLB demonstrate their classy prog-take on sludge with ease and lap up the crowd's eager attention.

Grifter - Grifter know how to party, which is good as that's what everyone wants by 10pm; balls out riffage, relentless tub-thumping and barnstorming-bass - this is Motorhead having a curry with AC/DC!

Sun Gods In Exile - "I'm a fucking American and I want a beer!" - Grifter's recent tour buddies are determined to enjoy their final UK date and their sweat-drenched Southern Yankie blues bring guffawing and grinning to all in the room.

Outskirts To Infinity - The prog-rock widdlings of these gnarly old boys divides opinion in the room like Marmite; like Yngwie Malmsteen, but with way more pensioners.

EyeHateGod - Obviously not good enough for Loud Howls, they were a no-show and are probably still selling their own gear for weed somewhere in Dagenham.

SUNDAY

Berserkowitz - Pummel both the fresh-faced and hungover few alike with their gargantuan High On Fire-ian drone, topped with scorching Iron Monkey-like bellowing.

Gorse - Easily the politest band of the day and top experimental sludge grooves heartily with slick-Rick drumming and desperate, yearning lyricism.

Serpent Venom - Gather a huge crowd for a total old-school doom demolition, showcasing force, power and heritage in their early-Cathedral riffs and barbed-wire-tinged bellowing.

Dead Existence - A scorching tech-metal approach to sludge with a superb frontman and razor-sharp fret-work.

Witchsorrow - Snail-paced yet heavier than Tony Iommi's pet whale, there is no description to offer here other than DOOM.

Astrohenge - Bat-shit bonkers conkers, multi-genre experts with duel-fuel guitar-attack, 27,648 pedals, doom-organ and probably the best drum work of the weekend.

Dopefight - Tune down and turn up the volume before riffing the crowd senseless for 30minutes - like Saviours drag-racing The Sword.

Koresh - A life-changing experience for pretty much all involved, more out-right male rape than music; scary but happy.

Trippy Wicked and the Cosmic Children of the Knight - Take the audience into the palms of their hands and blast them down a blues-soaked kaleidoscope of epic rock landscapes.

Invasion - You want wizards, thrash metal, 60s soul, stoner grooves, burnt drumkits, blistering volume and sublime 90-second songs - look no further.

Charger - Gnarled, grimey, filthy, downtrodden, gutter-metal from the waste-pits of Manchester - fast, churning, gurning rifforamas of the highest order.

IN SUMMARY - Tired, pissed, riffed and bruised in a pub painted black - what a way to spend a weekend!